Yogi Bear
Melody – Camptown Races
FIRST VERSE:
There is a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi,
There is a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi Bear.
FIRST CHORUS:
Yogi, Yogi Bear,
Yogi, Yogi Bear,
There is a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi Bear.
SAMPLE VERSE:
Yogi has a little friend,
Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo,
Yogi has a little friend,
Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo Bear!
SAMPLE CHORUS:
Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo Bear,
Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo Bear,
Yogi has a little friend,
Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo Bear
ADDITIONAL VERSES::
Boo-Boo has a girlfriend, Cyndi, Cyndi,
Boo-Boo has a girlfriend, Cyndi, Cyndi Bear
Cyndi has a shaven snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly,
Cyndi has a shaven snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly Bear
Cyndi likes it on the ice, Polar, Polar,
Cyndi likes it on the ice, Polar, Polar Bear!
Cyndi missed her period, Pregnant, Pregnant,
Cyndi missed her period, Pregnant, Pregnant Bear!
Yogi has a girlfriend, Suzi, Suzi,
Yogi has a girlfriend, Suzi, Suzi Bear!
Suzi’s snatch it smells like cheese, Camen, Camen
Suzi’s snatch it smells like cheese, Camen, Camembert!
Suzi doesn’t wash her snatch, Gummy, Gummy,
Suzi doesn’t wash her snatch, Gummy, Gummy Bear!
Cyndi wears lingerie, Teddy, Teddy,
Cyndi wears lingerie, Teddy, Teddy Bear!
Suzi likes it up the rear, Brown Bear, Brown Bear,
Suzi likes it up the rear, Brown Brown, Bear!
Boo-Boo likes it upside down, Koala, Koala,
Boo-Boo likes it upside down, Koala’s not a Bear!
Boo-Boo has a twelve-inch cock, Liar, Liar,
Boo-Boo has a twelve-inch cock, Liar, Liar Bear!
Boo-Boo’s only three feet tall, Lucky, Lucky,
Boo-Boo’s only three feet tall, Yogi’s a lucky bear
Boo-Boo takes it up the butt, Gay, Gay,
Boo-Boo takes it up the butt, Gay, Gay Bear!
Boo-Boo likes both black and white, Panda, Panda,
Boo-Boo likes both black and white, Panda, Panda Bear!
Yogi’s got an M-16, Right to, Right to,
Yogi’s got an M-16, Right to, Right to Bear!
Cyndi and Suzie are making out, Klondike, Klondike,
Cyndi and Suzie are making out, Klondike, Klondike Bear!
Suzie’s fucking vegetables, Cucum, Cucum,
Suzie’s fucking vegetables, Cucum, Cucum Bear!
This song has gone on way to long, More than, More than,
This song has gone on way to long,
It’s more than I can bear!
Bestiality’s Best
Melody – Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Boys
CHORUS:
Bestiality’s best, boys,
Bestiality’s best – FUCK A WALLABY!
Bestiality’s best, boys,
Bestiality’s best.
SAMPLE VERSE
Make a llama a mama, boys,
Make a llama a mama (BESTIALITY!)
Make a llama a mama, boys,
Make a llama a mama, (BECAUSE) . . .(chorus)
OPTIONAL VERSES:
Stick your dork in a stork
Make an eel squeal
Rub your beaver on a retriever
Rub your box on a fox
Rub your clitoris on a hippopotamus
Rub your clitty on a kitty
Rub your cunt on an elephunt
Rub your twat on an ocelot
Grind your mound on a hound
Drip your juice on a moose
Give your milk to an elk
Fool with the tool of a mule
Anyway you can with a pelican
Be a queer with a deer
Be a rotter with an otter
Be very pleasant to a pheasant
Bring a flea to her knees
Chuck your sperm in a worm
Do an illegal with an eagle
Do it funky with a monkey
Down the throat of a goat
Drop some goo in a shrew
Ejaculate in a snake
Get a suck from a duck
Get in deep with a sheep
Get it out for a trout
Give a lickin’ to a chicken
Give your milk to an elk
Go a rounder with a flounder
Go and defile a crocodile
Be a pimp for a chimp
Have a frig with a pig
Have a fuck with a duck
Have a goose with a moose
Have a lark with an aardvark
Have a rape with an ape
Have a shag with a stag
Have a squirm with a worm
In the Bahamas with some llamas
In the sack with yak.
Have intercourse with a horse
Make it limp in a chimp
Make it twirl in a squirrel
Make love with a dove
Make some porn with a unicorn
In the bog with a dog
On a train with a crane
Part the hare of a mare
Put it in the mid of a squid
Put your cock in a peacock
Put your noodle to a poodle
Put your thang in an orangutan
Shoot your load in a toad
Shove your log in a dog
Shove your willy up a filly
Sixty-nine with a swine
Stick your dork in a stork
Stick your needle in a beetle
Up the ass of a bass
Up the fanny of a nanny
Up the hole of a mole
When the End of the Month Rolls Around
Melody – As the Cassions Go Rolling Along
You can tell by the stain that she’s in a lot of pain
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her stance she’s got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month rolls around.
CHORUS:
Singing hi, hi, hee, to the tampon factory,
Shout your size and sing it loud and clear,
We got small, medium, large,
We got enough to fill a barge,
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her walk that you’ll sit around and talk
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by the blotch that she’s got a leaky crotch
When the end of the month rolls around. (Repeat Chorus)
Well you’re shit out of luck, if you want to fuck,
When the end of the month rolls around.
What the hell’s with these sheets, did I fuck a bag of beets?
When the end of the month rolls around. (Repeat Chorus)
Well the sex is maybe, but its better than a baby
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her bitchin, that she’ll take it in the kitchin
When the end of the month rolls around. (Repeat Chorus)
You can tell by that string, that somethings plugging up her thing
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by that puddle, that all you’ll do is cuddle
When the end of the month rolls around. (Repeat Chorus)
You can see it in her eyes that she’s got blood between her thighs
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her moanin’ that she’s losing hemoglobin
When the end of the month rolls around. (Repeat Chorus)
You can tell by her thing you’re gonna earn redwings
When the end of the month rolls around.
You can tell by her pout that her eggs are falling out
When the end of the month rolls around. (Repeat Chorus)
Yo Ho
Melody – When Johnny Comes Marching Home
FIRST VERSE:
I met a harriette on trail one day,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I met a harriette on trail one day,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I met a harriette on trail one day,
She said, “Hey hasher, you fancy a lay?
Get it in, get it out, quit fucking about!”
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
ADDITIONAL VERSES:
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her toe,
She said, “Hey hasher, you’re way too low!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about!”
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her knee,
She said, “Hey hasher, quit teasing me!”
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about!”
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her thigh,
She said, “Hey hasher, you’re way too shy!”
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about!”
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her tit,
She said, “Hey hasher, you’re getting it!”
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about!”
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my hand upon her twat,
She said, “Hey hasher, you’ve hit the spot!”
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about!”
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my dick into her mouth,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my dick into her mouth,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
I put my dick into her mouth,
She said, “Mmrphhh mmrfrm fmmrrf mrphhh mmrfrm fmmrrf!”
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about!”
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
And now she’s in a wooden box,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
And now she’s in a wooden box,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
And now she’s in a wooden box,
She died from sucking too many hasher’s cocks!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about!”
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
We dig her up every now and then,
We fucked her once, we’ll fuck her again!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about!”
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! Yo Ho!
Days of the Week
BEGINNING VERSE:
Today is Monday, (Today is Monday)
Monday is a wanking day. (Monday is a wanking day)
CHORUS:
Leader: Is ev’rybody happy?
All: You bet your ass we are!
Da da dut da da, da da dut da da
ADDITIONAL VERSES:
Today is Tuesday,
Tuesday is a finger day.
Monday is a wanking day. (chorus)
Today is Wednesday,
Wednesday is a mmhmm day,
Tuesday is a finger day.
Monday is a wanking day. (chorus)
Today is Thursday,
Thursday is a drinking day,
Wednesday is a mmhmm day,
Tuesday is a finger day.
Monday is a wanking day. (chorus)
Today is Friday,
Friday is a fucking day,
Thursday is a drinking day,
Wednesday is a mmhmm day,
Tuesday is a finger day.
Monday is a wanking day. (chorus)
Today is Saturday,
Saturday is a HASHING day,
Friday is a fucking day,
Thursday is a drinking day,
Wednesday is a mmhmm day,
Tuesday is a finger day.
Monday is a wanking day. (chorus)
Today is Sunday,
Sunday is a day or rest.
Saturday is a HASHING day,
Friday is a fucking day,
Thursday is a drinking day,
Wednesday is a mmhmm day,
Tuesday is a finger day.
Monday is a wanking day. (chorus)
Allouette
Melody – Alouette
CHORUS:
Alouette, gentille Alouette,
Alouette je te plumerai.
Leader: Does she have ze stringy hair?
All: Oui, she has ze stringy hair.
Leader: Stringy hair,
All: Stringy hair,
Leader: Alouette!
All: Alouette! Aah, aah, aah, aah . . . (chorus)
Leader: Does she have ze furrowed brow?
All: Oui, she has ze furrowed brow,
Leader: Furrowed brow,
All: Furrowed brow,
Leader: Stringy hair,
All: Stringy hair,
Leader: Alouette! Aah, aah, aah, ahh . . . (chorus)
Wooden eye (Yes I would!) . . .
Broken nose . . .
Blow job lips . . .
Two buck teeth . . .
Double chin . . .
Swinging tits . . . (GREAT BIG, SWINGING TITS!)
Beer belly . . .
Furry thing . . .
Thunder Thighs . . .
Knobby Knees . . .
Ingrown Toes . . .
Leader: Now isn’t she a real-good-sport?
All: Oui, she is a real-good-sport,
Leader: Real-good-sport,
All: Real-good-sport,
Leader: Alouette! Aah, aah, aah . . . (chorus)
Asshole (The I-95 song)
Credits: F August Campbell
Well I was drivin’ down I-95 the other night.
Somebody nearly cut me right off the road.
I decided it wasn’t gonna do any good to get mad.
So I wrote a song about him instead.
It goes like this…
Were you born an asshole?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
’cause you’re an asshole tonight.
Yes you’re an A..S S H O L E…
And don’t you try to blame it on me.
You deserve all the credit.
You’re an asshole tonight.
You were an asshole yesterday.
You’re an asshole tonight.
And I’ve got a feelin’
you’ll be an asshole the rest of your life.
And I was talkin’ to your mother
just the other night.
I told her I thought you were an asshole.
She said, “Yes. I think you’re right.”
And all your friends are assholes
’cause you’ve known them your whole life.
And somebody told me
you’ve got an asshole for a wife.
Were you born an asshole?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
’cause you’re an aaaass…hole tonight.