Down, Down, Down, Your Beer
Melody – Row Row Row Your Boat
Down Down Down your beer,
To pay for your crime.
Quit complaining about the taste,
There’s no sperm this time
What a Wonderful Trail
Melody – What a Wonderful World
I see trails of true,
Poison oak too.
I hear hashers on trail,
Crying “RU?”
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful trail.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful trail.
My Dead Dog Rover
Melody – I’m Looking Over my 4 Leaf Clover
I’m looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran with the mower.
One leg is missing,
The other is gone,
The third leg is shredded,
All over the lawn.
You see there’s no use explaining,
The one remaining,
It’s spinning on the carport floor
I’m looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I ran over,
That I ran over,
That I ran over with the mower!
Shitty Trail
Melody – Mickey Mouse
S-H-I,T-T-Y,T-R-A-I-L,
Shitty Trail, Shitty Trail,
The mother fuckers laid a shitty trail,
[I would rather drink a beer than run their shitty trail],
S-H-I,T-T-Y,T-R-A-I-L,
drink it down, drink it down
Twenty Toes
There is a game called twenty toes,
That’s played all over town,
Women play with ten toes up,
And men with ten toes down.
No.
Bad! Bad! Bad!
No! No! No!
Down! Down! Down!
Dos Equis
Melody – Do, Re, Mi (Sound of Music)
Dos Equis, a Mexican beer,
Ray, the guy who buys me beer, (Thanks Ray!),
Me, the guy, who drinks the beer,
Far, a long-long way to run,
So, I think I’ve have a beer!
La, la la la la la la,
Tea, no thanks I’ll have a beer,
And that brings us back to Dos, dos, dos, dos…
My Name is Jack
My name is Jack (nah-na-nah-na-nah-na-nah),
I’m a necrophiliac (nah-na-nah-na-nah-na-nah),
I fuck dead women (nah-na-nah-na-nah-na-nah),
And I fill ’em full of jism (nah-na-nah-na-nah-na-nah).
I get frustrated (nah-na-nah-na-nah-na-nah),
When they’re cremated (nah-na-nah-na-nah-na-nah),
Cause try as I must (nah-na-nah-na-nah-na-nah),
I can’t fuck dust!
Puff the Magic Tampon
Melody – Puff the Magic Dragon
Puff, The Magic Tampon
Lived between her knees,
And frolicked in that awfulness
Of filthy yeast and cheese!
Then one day it happened,
Puffy sprang a leak.
But don’t complain you sleazy bitch,
He’s been in your box all week!
Soldier Song
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for queen,
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be!
Donnie the Retard
Melody – Frosty the Snowman
Donnie the retard,
Had an eight pound melon head,
He was five foot three and he said to me,
Hiii myyy naaame isss Donnnnnie!
You’re Number One
You’re not number four,
You’re not number three,
You’re not number two,
You’re number one.
(Start with four fingers up and fold one down each time until only your middle finger is up)
You’re Stupid
You’re really fucking stupid,
You’re really fucking dumb,
If it wasn’t for you’re mother,
You’d be a spot of cum!
You’re A Shitty Hare
Melody – “Living on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi
You should have used more flour and chalk,
We followed your marks,
but they said ‘You’re fucked’
It su-ucked, you su-uck.
We wanted to drink Magic Hat,
But lost on your trail
We settled for Pabst
It su-ucked, you su-uck.
You’ve got to hold on to the drink you’ve got
It doesn’t make a difference if it’s beer or a shot
This is for the tit checks you forgot
You’ll be drinking a lot!
Woah-oh there was no beer out there!
Woah-oh you’re a shitty ha-are!
Take some flour and use it out there!
Woah-oh you’re a shitty ha-are!
You’re a shitty ha-a-are!
It’s a Small Dick
Melody – It’s a Small World
Well it isn’t long and it isn’t thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat but it’s all that he’s got,
It’s a small, small dick.
It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol,
It’s a small, small dick!
Give it a Blow
Melody – Let It Snow
Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But my cock is so delightful,
So if you want to see it grow,
Give it a blow, give it a blow, give it a blow!
Bullshit
Melody – My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
Sounds like, Sounds like
Sounds like Bullshit to me! To me!
Sounds like, Sounds like
Sounds like Bullshit to me! To me!
More Beer
Melody – Auld Lang Syne
More beer, more beer, more beer, more beer,
More beer, more beer, more beer! (MORE BEER!)
More beer, more beer, more beer, more beer,
More beer, more beer, more beer! (MORE BEER!)
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Fuck You!
Happy Birthday
Fuck You!
Happy Birthday you Bastard!
Happy Birthday
Fuck You!
The Doggies Had A Meeting
The doggies had a meeting,
they came from near and far,
some came by motorcycle,
some came by motorcar.
Each doggy passed the entrance,
each doggy signed the book,
each doggy hung his asshole
upon a different hook.
One dog was not invited,
It sorely raised his ire.
He ran into the meeting hall
and loudly bellowed FIRE.
The doggies were in panic,
And without a second look,
each doggie grabbed an asshole
from another doggies hook.
And thats the reason why sir
a dog will leave his home,
and that’s the reason why sir,
a dog will leave his bone,
to sniff anothers asshole
to see if its his own.
ASSHOLE! Drink it down down down down.
Hash House Harriers
Melody – Addams Family Theme
Their drinking is compulsive and
Their running is convulsive,
They’re morally repulsive,
The Hash House Harriers.
CHORUS:
Da da da da (snap fingers twice)
Da da da da (snap fingers twice)
Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da
Their flatulence is rude and
Their genitals protrude when
They’re running in the nude in
The Hash House Harriers.
They’re always shiggy tracking
From constantly bush-whacking,
Intelligence they’re lacking,
The Hash House Harriers.
Da da da da, Down Down, etc . . .