Pub / Event Songs Part 2

S & M Man

Melody – The Candy Man

Who will run through jaggers (who will run through jaggers),
Ripping up his flesh (ripping up his flesh),
And turn right around,
And repeat the bloody mess?
It’s the S&M man.

CHORUS:
Oh, the S&M man,
The S&M man because he mixes it with love,
And makes the hurt feel good (the hurt feel good)

Who wears pants with zippers,
And no underwear,
Then pulls them up and down,
And rips out his pubic hair?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a razor,
And no shaving cream,
Scrape her pussy bald,
While he listens to her scream?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take an old saw,
Rusty but still cuts,
Pull it back and forth,
Until he rips off his own nuts?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a bottle,
Shove it up your ass,
Hit it with a hammer,
And line your ass with glass?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take your scrotum,
Stick it with a pin,
Hang on a bunch of weights,
Till it drags down to your shins?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take your penis,
Slam it in a door,
Slam it in a door,
So you can’t fuck anymore?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a sander,
Make sure it’s Black and Decker,
Rub it up and down,
Until you’ve got a bleeding pecker?
It’s the S&M man.

Who would take a condom,
Put pepper in the ring,
Use it on the wife,
‘Cause she twitches when it stings?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a mallet,
Claim that he’s a stud,
Smash it on his pecker,
Till it starts to ooze blood?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take your penis,
Tie it in a knot,
Tie it in a knot,
Until the sucker rots?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take sandpaper,
Rough like fifty grit,
Rub it on her pussy,
Until she has no clit?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take two ice picks,
Stick one in each ear,
And ride her like a Harley,
While he roots her up the rear?
It’s the S&M man.

Who takes jumper cables,
Clamps one on each tit,
Starts up the car,
And electrocutes the bitch?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a young girl,
Turn the lights down low,
Flip on the video camera,
And make like Rob Lowe?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a vagina,
Suck out all the yeast,
Spit it out into some dough,
And serve bread at the hash feast?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a puppy,
Hold it by the ears,
Fuck it in the ass,
Until it sheds those puppy tears?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a vice clamp,
Clamp it on a tit,
Squeeze the sucker down
Till it pops just like a zit?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a cheese grater,
Strap it to his arm,
Fist fuck the bitch
And make Vagina Parmesan?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a transient,
Rip out one of his eyes,
Skull fuck the bastard
While he listens to his cries?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take some shackles,
Chain you to the walls,
Fill a glass with sperm,
By lancing both your balls?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a Coke bottle,
Shove it up her ass,
Kidney punch the bitch,
Until she’s shitting blood and glass?
It’s the S&M man.

Who would use machinery,
To masturbate at work,
Rip off his left testis,
And pretend it didn’t hurt?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a baby,
Lay it on a bed,
Turn the bugger over,
Fuck the soft spot in its head?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a little girl,
Before she’s on the rag,
Fuck her till she’s dead
And then toss her in a bag?
It’s the S&M man.

Who would put a kid’s hand,
In a socket on the wall?
It’s nice when they jerk,
Up against his balls.
It’s the S&M man.

Who goes to the abortion clinic,
Sneaks around the back,
Digs through the dumpster,
Until he finds a tasty snack?
It’s the S&M man.

Who gives children candy,
Takes them round the block,
And rips up their innards,
With the ramming of his cock?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a baby,
Throw it on a pile,
And fuck it up its ass,
Shis-ka-bob style?
It’s the S&M man.

Who would take your kiddies,
Out to a picnic binge,
Put them on the fire,
And watch the fuckers singe?
It’s the S&M man.

Who can take a pregnant woman,
Fuck her till she’s dead,
Leave his dick inside her,
Till the foetus gives him head?
It’s the S&M man.

THE S & M GIRL (variation on S & M Man)

Who takes jumper cables,
Attaches ’em to her tits,
Connects them to a Mack truck,
And has orgasmic fits?
It’s the S&M girl.

CHORUS:
Oh, the S&M girl,
The S&M girl because she mixes it with love,
And makes the hurt feel good (the hurt feel good).

Who can jump a flagpole,
Land right up on top,
Wiggle down and squeeze so tight,
The ball on top pops?
It’s the S&M girl.

Who can take a buzz saw,
Hold it to her twat,
Rev up the engine,
And perpetually squat?
It’s the S&M girl.

Who sleeps on barbed wire,
Tossing left and right,
Just to see how many stitches,
She can earn each night?
It’s the S&M girl.

Who can shave her body,
Pubic parts and all,
Swim around all day,
In a pool of alcohol?
It’s the S&M girl.

Who rubs down with honey,
Just to have a chance,
To lay out on the lawn,
And be a picnic for the ants?
It’s the S&M girl.

Who ties down her sweetie,
Every single day,
Covers him with rats,
And lets the kitties in to play?
It’s the S&M girl.

Who can take a big knife,
And cause him lots of pain,
And then get off in court,
When she claims that she’s insane?
Lorenna Bobbit can.

Hairs of Her Dickie Die Do

(MAYOR OF BAYSWATER’S DAUGHTER)

Melody – The Ash Grove

The Mayor of Bayswater,
He has a lovely daughter,
And the hairs on her dickie-di-doe,
Hang down to her knees.

CHORUS:
Leader: And the hairs,
Pack: And the hairs,
Leader: And the hairs,
Pack: And the hairs,
Leader: And the hairs,
Pack: On her dicky-di-doe,
Hang down to her knees.
One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And the hairs on her dicky-di-doe,
Hang down to her knees.

VARIATIONS
and one forty pound strength one
and one I caught a trout on
and one I found on a bar of soap
and one that blocked the storm drain
and one she used as dental floss
and one she uses for macramQ
and one dripping in olive oil
and one she towed my car with
and one that smelt of clitty litter
and one to start the mower with
and one they use in gunsights
and one with a drop of piss on
and one covered in algae
and one I start my outboard with
and one I broke a tooth on
and one I found in my mug of beer
and one the crabs are stuck on
and one she winched her Jeep with
and one she marked the trail with
and one she tied her Nikes with
and one she tied her whistle on
and one she roped the calves with
and one she pulled her trailer with
and one they hanged a horse thief with
and one she climbed a cliff with
and one she whipped the orphans with
etc . . .

VERSES:

I could not believe my eyes,
When I peered down between her thighs.

I she were my daughter,
I’d have her cut them shorter.

I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it,
I’ve lain right in between it.

I stroked ’em and poked ’em,
I rolled ’em and smoked ’em.

You’d need a coal miner,
To find her vagina.

She lives on the mountain,
and pees like a bloody fountain.

She stayed on a cattle ranch,
And came like a bloody avalanche.

She says she is not a whore,
But she bangs like a shithouse door.

She lives on malted milkshake,
And roots like a bloody rattlesnake.

She married an Italian,
With balls like a fucking stallion.

She divorced the Italian,
And married the stallion.

She married a Spaniard,
With a prick like a bloody lanyard.

She divorced the Spaniard,
And ran off with the bloody lanyard.

The split of her beaver,
Looks just like June Cleaver’s.

She slept with a demon,
Who drowned her with semen.

Her cat’s name is Boris,
And it plays with her clitoris.

The aroma it lingers,
It smells like fish fingers.

She sat on the waterfront,
With the waves lapping up and down her cunt.

I’ve licked it and kissed it,
It tastes like a chocolate biscuit.

You can drive a Morris Minor,
Right up her vagina.

It was always hit-or-miss,
Whether I could find her clitoris.

She went to Arabia,
And got camel drool on her labia.

She stayed in Seattle,
And went down on cattle.

The light is so glitorous,
When it shines off her clitoris.

Her vagina was squishy,
And smelled a bit fishy.

She went with a Hash House Harrier,
Who fucked her but wouldn’t marry her.

She had group sex with the Circle,
Next day our parts turned purple.

Wild West Show

CHORUS:
We’re going to see the Wild West Show,
The elephant and the kangaroo-o-oo,
Never mind the weather, as long as we’re together,
We’re going to the Wild West Show.

Leader: Now here, ladies and gentlemen, in the first cage we have the laughing hyena.
Pack: The laughing hyena? Fantastic! Incredible! No Shit? What the fuck is a laughing hyena? Tell us about the son-of-a-bitch!!
Leader: This animal lives up in the mountains and once every year he comes down to eat. Once every two years he comes down to drink, and once every three years he comes down for sexual intercourse. What the hell he has to laugh about I don’t know.

The Bengal Tiger – The Bengal tiger is a magnificent beast of wonder. It’s a 750lb pussy that eats you.

The Giraffe – This creature is the most popular animal in the animal kingdom. Why? Every time he goes into a bar he says, “Gentlemen, the high-balls are on me.”

The Famous Tattooed Lady – On the inside of her left thigh she has tattooed MERRY CHRISTMAS, and on the inside of her right thigh she has tattooed HAPPY NEW YEAR, and she’d like to invite you to come up between the holidays!

The Orangutan – This animal lives in the deepest jungle, and his scrotal sac is so pliant and flexible that as he swings from branch to branch his balls go ORANG-U-TANG, ORANG-U-TANG.

The Oster-reich – This animal, at the first sign of danger, buries its head in the sand and whistles through the ‘hole of the afternoon.

The Rhino-sauras – This animal, ladies and gentlemen, is reputed to be the richest in the world. Its name is derived from the Latin “rhino” meaning money, and “sore ass” meaning piles; hence, piles of money.

The Keerie Bird – This bird lives only in the Antarctic, and every time it lands on the ice it says, “Keerie, Keerie, Keeriest, it’s cold!”

Prince, the Rock ‘n’ Roll Star – Yes, ladies and gentlemen, living proof that Little Richard and Liberace were once man and wife!

The Leo-pard – Yes, folks, the leopard has one spot on its coat for every day of the year. What about leap year? George, lift up the leopard’s tail and show the lady the 29th of February.

The Winky Wanky Bird – Folks, by some mystery of nature, the nerves of this bird’s eyelids are connected to its scrotum. Every time it winks, it wanks, andevery time it wanks, it winks. Hey you, boy, stop throwing sand in the bird’s eye!

The Ele-phant – The elephant has an enormous appetite. In one day it eats two tons of hay, one dozen bunches of bananas, and twenty buckets of rice. Madam, please don’t stand too near the elephant. Madam? Madam? Oh, dear God! George, get the shovel!

The Mathematical Impossibility – Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the girl you see before you in this cage was ate before she was seven!

The Oozle Woozle Bird – These birds fly in a line ahead formation, and at the first sign of danger, the last bird flies up the asshole of the bird in front, and so on up the line. The remaining bird then flies around in ever-decreasing circles, finally disappearing up its own fundamental orifice, from which it proceeds to shower shit and derision in all directions.

The Tri-angular – Folks, this animal has a triangular orifice. Hence the pyramids and the YWCA.

The Second Tattooed Lady – On one leg she has tattooed FIRE, and on the other leg she had tattooed BRIMSTONE, and in between it looks like HELL!

The Gay-zelle – This pretty little four-footed animal you see on your right, ladies and gentlemen, wot has the peculiarity that every time it leaps from rock to rock it farts, and the scientists are still trying to determine whether it farts because it leaps or whether it leaps because it farts.

The Well-Known Oolie-Goolie Bird – This bird, wot as you will observe if you look carefully at it, has no legs, and is called what it is, ladies and gentlemen, because when the male of the species comes in to land you can hear him cry, “Ooh, me goolies! Ooh, me goolies!”

The French Pervertable – This fine automobile is the last of it’s kind, no longer for sale anywhere in the world. Notice the convertible top, the five-speed manual transmission, the automatic cruise control, and the dual halogen headlights. It seats two in the front and comfortably accomodates 69 in the back.

The Tattooed Cowgirl – The tattooed cowgirl has a tattoo of Roy Clark on her left thigh and a tattoo of Hank Williams on her right thigh . . . and who’s that in the middle, Willy Nelson?

The Antique Sales Lady – The Antique Sales Lady sells only period furniture . . . everything has stains on it.

The Plumb Line Bird – This bird spends most of its time high above the world’s oceans, circling in the jet stream until it spies what it is after. Immediately it folds its wings, dives toward the sea, and gathers an ever-increasing momentum until it reaches terminal velocity. At that precise moment it hits the surface of the sea but continues diving straight down, now with decreasing momentum, until, if it has got the timing precisely right, it comes to a stop behind a sardine which has just farted, whereupon it seizes the bubble in its beak for use in spirit levels.

The Circus Acrobat – If you will but observe the Circus Acrobat’s ass you will observe a tattooed M on one cheek and a corresponding M on the other. When he bends over he spells MOM. When he stands on his head he spells WOW. When he turns cartwheels, he spells WOW MOM WOW.

The Female Mathematician – This lady, folks, believes that this (hold fingers three inches apart) is twelve inches.

The Famous Oooh-Aaah Bird – The male of this species, ladies and gentlemen, resides at the North Pole while the female resides at the South Pole. At the appointed season the male Oooh-Aaah flies south from the North Pole and the female Oooh-Aaah flies north from the South Pole until they meet at the Equator, whereupon one can here them call, “Ooooooooooh-Aaaaaaaaaah!”

Alternate version: The famous ooah-Aaah Goonie Bird- The Oooah-aah Goonie bird is an arctic bird that lives on Glacier Flats. It has 12 inch legs and a 16 inch nutsack and when it runs across the ice, it yells “Ooooooah- Aaaaaah! Oooooah- Aaaaah!”

The Tri-Angular Iceberg – A most uncommon iceberg, ladies and gentlemen, where on the first side you will see an Indonesian keeping a private school, and on the second side an American keeping a private school, while on the third side you will observe a polar bear sliding up and down, keeping his privates cool.

The Homosexual Sparrow – This bird is so called, ladies and gentlemen, because sometimes he flies backwards for a lark.

The Infamous Fuggawi Tribe – This tribe, as you will see, dear friends, is composed of small-statured people wot live in the middle of Africa, where the grass grows to an incredible height of 18 feet or more, and all day long the members of this tribe wander, calling, “Where the Fuggawi? Where the Fuggawi?”

Glorious Victorious

Melody – Itself

Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer

Drunk last night,
Drunk the night before,
Gonna get drunk tonight,
Like I’ve never been drunk before,
Cause when I’m drunk I’m as happy as can be,
Cause we’re all part of the Hash House family.

Oh the Hash Family
Is the best family
To ever Come over
From Old Germany.
There’s the High Hash Drunks
There’s the Low Hash Drunks
There’s the Asian Drunks
And the other damn drunks.

CHORUS:
Singing Glorious,
Victorious!
One keg of beer for the four of us.
Singing Glory be to God that there are no more of us,
Cause one of us could drink it all alone
Damn near, pass the beer, to the rear, of the Hash House!

sung to (“If you’re Happy and You know it”)

There are no serious Hashers by the Bay (by the Bay),
There are no serious Hashers by the Bay (by the Bay),
‘Cause they’re all a bunch of queers
Who get drunk on half a beer
There are no serious Hashers by the Bay!

There are no serious Hashers in L. A.,
There are no serious Hashers in L. A.,
Because the smog blocks out the sun
And they don’t know how to run
There are no serious Hashers in L. A.!

There are no serious Hashers in New York,
There are no serious Hashers in New York,
‘Cause they talk like Donald Duck
And they don’t know how to fuck
There are no serious Hashers in New York!

There are no serious Hashers in F. L. A.,
There are no serious Hashers in F. L. A.,
Because they all wear string bikinis
And the guys have little wienies

There are no serious Hashers in F. L. A.!

Oh there are no female Hashers in the Rockies,
Oh there are no female Hashers in the Rockies,
Cause when they’re running through the trees
Their tits are at their knees
Oh there are no Female hashers in the Rockies!

There are no serious Hashers in the Navy,
There are no serious Hashers in the Navy,
Because they’re all on little boats
Making love to sheep and goats
There are no serious Hashers in the Navy!

Oh there are no honest Hashers in D. C.,
Oh there are no honest Hashers in D. C.,
Cause they’re taking all our money
While they’re fucking our sweet honies
Oh there are no honest Hashers in D. C.!

There are no serious Hashers in K. Y.,
There are no serious Hashers in K. Y.,
‘Cause they’re all a bunch of hicks
Who are playing with their pricks
There are no serious Hashers in K. Y.!

There are no serious Hashers in Calgary,
There are no serious Hashers in Calgary,
‘Cause they’ll wade through waist deep snow
Just to give a cow a blow
There are no serious Hashers in Calgary!

There are no serious Hashers from the South,
There are no serious Hashers from the South,
With their necks of crimson red
And their cousins they will wed
It’s a sure sign that they are all inbred!

There are no serious Hashers from the North,
There are no serious Hashers from the North,
They proudly proclaim they’re yanks
while beating their tiny cranks
There are no serious Hashers from the North!

There are no serious Hashers in Milwaukee,
There are no serious Hashers in Milwaukee,
‘Cause the men all ride on Hogs
And the women howl like dogs
There are no serious Hashers in Milwaukee!

Chicago

Melody – The Bear Went Over the Mountain

CHORUS:

I used to work in Chicago,

In an old department store,

I used to work in Chicago,

I don’t work there any more.

VERSES: A lady came in for some stockings,

Some stockings from the store,

Stockings she wanted,

A hosing she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for some carpet,

Some carpet from the store,

Carpet she wanted,

Laid she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for some nails,

Some nails from the store,

Nails she wanted,

Screwed she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A man came in for a balloon,

A balloon from the store,

Balloon he wanted,

Blown he got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for some wool,

Some wool from the store,

Wool she wanted,

Felt she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A man came in for some carpet,

Some carpet from the store,

Shag he wanted,

Piles he got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for metaphysical conversation,

Metaphysical conversation from the store,

Metaphysical conversation she wanted,

Fucked she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A man came in for a lollipop,

A lollipop from the store,

A sucker he wanted,

Sucked he got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for drain cleaner,

Drain cleaner from the store,

Drano she wanted,

Clean pipes she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a pony,

A pony from the store,

Horse she wanted,

Ridden she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A man came in for some wheels,

Some wheels from the store,

Wheels he wanted,

Rimmed he got,

I don’t work there any more.

A woman came in for a doughnut,

A doughnut from the store,

Glazed she wanted,

Creme-filled she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a throw rug,

A throw rug from the store,

Rug she wanted,

Rug-burned she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a watchspring,

A watchspring from the store,

Watchspring she wanted,

Boinged she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a T-bone,

A T-bone from the store,

T-bone she wanted,

Boneless round she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for toy sailors,

Toy sailors from the store,

Toy sailors she wanted,

Semen she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a canned ham,

Canned ham from the store,

Armour she wanted,

Porked she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A woman came in for gift wrapping,

Gift wrapping from the store,

Wrapping she wanted,

A stuffing she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a beefsteak,

Beefsteak from the store,

Chuck she wanted,

Fucked she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a novel,

A novel from the store,

Dickens she wanted,

Dick she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for cigarettes,

Cigarettes from the store,

Camels she wanted,

Humped she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for an iron,

An iron from the store,

Steam she wanted,

Reamed she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A widow came in for some sympathy,

Sympathy from the store,

Sympathy she wanted,

Syphilis she got,

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for assistance,

Assistance from the store,

Help she wanted,

AIDS she got,

I don’t work there any more.

BONUS EXHIBITIONIST VERSES FOR HARRIERS AND HARRIETTES:

A lady/man came in for some aspirin,

Some aspirin from the store,

Aspirin she/he wanted,

Crack she/he got,

(shoot moon)

I don’t work there any more.

A lady/man came in for some film,

Some film from the store,

Color she wanted,

Exposed she got,

(expose dick/tits)

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a computer,

A computer from the store,

Apple she wanted,

My Wang she got,

(expose dick)

I don’t work there any more.

A man came in for a pet,

A pet from the store,

A puppy he wanted,

My pussy he got,

(expose same)

I don’t work there any more.

A man came in for some deodorant,

Some deoderant from the store,

Right Guard he wanted,

My right tit he got,

(expose same)

I don’t work there any more.

A lady (or man) came in for some Wrigley’s,

Some Wrigley’s from the store,

Gum she (he) wanted,

My bum she got,

(shoot moon)

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for molasses,

Molasses from the store,

Sorghum she wanted,

My scrotum she got,

(expose same)

I don’t work there any more.

A man came into Lost & Found,

Lost & Found at the store,

“My package, I left it.”

I showed him my left tit,

(expose same)

I don’t work there any more.

A lady came in for a video,

A video from the store,

Free Willy she wanted,

Free Willy I did,

(do same)

I don’t work there any more.

Barnacle Bill the Sailor

Melody – Barnacle Bill the Sailor

Who´s that knocking at my door?
Who´s that knocking at my door?
Who´s that knocking at my door?
said the fair young maiden

I just got paid and I wanta get laid,
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
I jut got paid and I wanta get laid,
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

(Open the door ya fuckin whore
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
Open the door ya fuckin whore
said Barnacle Bill the sailor)

Shall we go to the dance?
Shall we go to the dance?
Shall we go to the dance?
said the fair young maiden

To Hell with the dance and down with your pants

said Barnacle Bill the sailor.

To Hell with the dance and down with your pants

said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What’s that thing between your legs?
What’s that thing between your legs?
What’s that thing between your legs?
said the fair young maiden

It’s only me pole to stick up your hole
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
It’s only me pole to stick up your hole
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What´s that stuff around your pole?
What´s that stuff around your pole?
What´s that stuff around your pole?
said the fair young maiden

It’s only me grass to tickle your ass
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
It’s only me grass to tickle your ass
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What´s that dripping down your leg?
What´s that dripping down your leg?
What´s that dripping down your leg?
said the fair young maiden

It’s only a shot that missed your twat
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
It’s only a shot that missed your twat
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What if we should have a boy?
What if we should have a boy?
What if we should have a boy?
said the fair young maiden

He’ll go to sea and fuck like me
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
He’ll go to sea and fuck like me
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What if we should have a girl
What if we should have a girl
What if we should have a girl
said the fair young maiden

Well we’ll dig a ditch and bury the bitch
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
We’ll dig a ditch and bury the bitch
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What if my parents should come home?
What if my parents should come home?
What if my parents should come home?
said the fair young maiden

I’ll fuck your Ma and blow your Pa
said Barnacle Bill the sailor
I’ll fuck your Ma and blow your Pa
said Barnacle Bill the sailor

What if we should go to jail?
What if we should go to jail?
What if we should go to jail?
says the fair young maiden.

I’ll pick the lock with the head of me cock,
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
I’ll pick the lock with the head of me cock,
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

What if we should go back to jail?
What if we should go back to jail?
What if we should go back to jail?
says the fair young maiden.

I’ll knock down the walls with me swinging balls,
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
I’ll break down the walls with me swinging balls,
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

What if we should get the chair?
What if we should get the chair?
What if we should get the chair?
says the fair young maiden.

I’ll lay a fart and blow it apart,
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
I’ll lay a fart and blow it apart,
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.