JaxH3 95902/03/16

Hares: Hot Wet Discharge / Synchronized Titties


Gin Comes Out Yellow
HR Cuff n' Stuff
Just Chase
Just John
Pack My Asphalt
Pre-Teen Spirit
Pump Me Up Scottie
Selectively Swallows
Sitting Butch Squirting Bull
Sparky Sole Patch

Hash Trash by Gin

So there we were...

Arriving at start we found a bunch of hashers getting busy in the kitchen and more watching Preteen(aka Pees on Small Dogs) face off with a paranoid pomeranian out back; Someone must have warned the little guy. The hares realized they didn't have enough flour, but Synchronized Titties managed to scrounge up some chalk and TP, and I discovered that Hot Wet Discharge’s house is dangerous for anyone over 5’ by banging my cranium on no less than five different things. After ‘hydrating’ with surprisingly fancy beer courtesy of Beermeister Sparky, I (your now slightly brain-damaged RA) circled everyone up… much to the surprise of HWD, who had to r*n and change into racist shoes before chalk talk.

On-out! We passed some road construction, found a giant pile of abandoned appliances, walked around an abandoned house, and may have interrupted a drug deal. Selectively Swallows decided to walk back to start and guard the beer, while the rest of us made our way under an overpass and into a slightly nicer neighborhood. Trail eventually led into a strip mall where we got side-eye from the bouncers at a packed club(apparently the Craig airfield strip is hot shit on a Wednesday night) and Pack my Asphalt found an Extra Credit check in front of Dicks. That's right... Dicks for Extra Credit! Inside we found the hares had ordered hot cock(a-doodle-doo!) for us, so we wrapped our hands around their meat, finished it off with our mouths, then drank some beer to wash away the aftertaste.

Once we’d had our fill of Dicks, we continued on trail for a mile or so of road before encountering… shiggy! What?! Shiggy on a 0.69!? Just John attempted to re-tie his shoes mid-stride and ate dirt, but thankfully the hares had a rickety ‘hash bridge’ laid over the water crossing and a shot check waiting to delay any complaints. Despite their earlier worries the hares put down enough marks to get everyone to the on-in, where beer and brunswick stew were waiting and Just Chase got a fire started. With beers in hand we called for down downs: the hares for trail marks not in chalk talk, Flying Saucers for a February birthday, HR Cuff & Stuff for FBI, Pump me up Scotty for turning down sex on trail, Squirting Bull for calling Dirty Martin by his nerd name, and finally awarded the hashshit to Just John for going down on himself on trail!

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