So there we were...
The pack gathered up and we quenched our thirst with beer while Sparky and Just Alice explained some chalk markings to us. We sang them a song and sent them on their way so we could get better acquianted with our virgins and visitors. After a few minutes head(who said head?) start we couldn't take any more of the frigid 40* weather, so we ventured out on trail.
We found some intersections, some true trails, a boob check, and YBF's at every turn. No shit... the hares fucked the pack with such great frequency that I'm surprised nobody got pregnant on trail. Thankfully after the 40th or 50th YBF we headed out onto the beach where the hares were waiting to surprise us with a beer *and* shot stop.
We washed down the taste of shitty beer with Fireball(or maybe vice versa) and the hares tried to float some lanterns to light our way, but even with handheld devices and hashers fluffing they just couldn't get it up. We sent them on their way, finished the libations, and got right back to following the YBF's... I mean 'trail' they had laid for us.
Some hashers thought they found a Turkey/Eagle split, or maybe it was just a true trail pointing the wrong direction; Either way everyone made it to end circle. Songs were sung, virgins made good use of their sacred instruments, we gave Sparky the Hashshit for trying to light the beach on fire, and Just Alice regaled us with stories about Teddy Roosevelt, asian vaginas, and unwanted moisturizer. We finally decided we'd had enough and told Just Alice to get lost as we welcomed Small Working Orifice to the hash.