Mismanagement

JaxH3 MM 2020

These are the poor hashers we convinced to wear the pants of responsibility this year.

Looking for previous years?


Beer Meister

This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the heavy (burden) responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing (properly chilled, of course) is available at each and every trail. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirits available, always has coolers in the automobile, cases of beer in his garage, and plastic cups stashed in every possible place. This job requires a strong back and a weak mind...reminds me of a novel I once read!

Mothball

Mothball

Grand Mattress

The Chairman of the Bored. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light, if you will. Gispert’s legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather he personifies the hash’s character (or lack thereof). He leads with a dynamic strength that glues the entire organization (or does not). Both directly, and through the hash officers, he gives inspiration, direction, and blurry visions to all (who will listen). In real importance to the hash, this position is ranked somewhere up there with Hash Cash, RA, Haberdasher, Hare Raiser, and Beermeister.

Mother Knows Best

Mother Knows Best

Religious Advisors

Keepers of the Faith. Enforcers of the Scriptures. Conductors of Circle. These are the hashers who have seen the light (Bud Light, Natty Light, Beast Light… ) and can taste in their soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisors spread the word, inspire the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants, and mismanage circle. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA's. They are the keepers of the sacred Laws of Hashing and come up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any situation. They also have the ability to summon the mythical Hash Attorney at whim.

Nappy, Sparky, Triple, Sybian

Nappy, Sparky, Triple, Sybian

Hare Raiser

The Hare Raiser ensures that some hare(s) for each hash is available and that the start location is known well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. It is also the responsibility of the Hare Raiser to ensure that hares are properly trained in the art of laying thy trail, that standard marking conventions are observed, that virgin hares have veteran co-hares, and communicating the start location of the hash to the masses. If the Hare Raiser should fail to find a hare for the next hash the Hare Raiser gets stuck doing it. Poetic justice...it was an okay movie!

TBD

TBD

Hash Cash

The beholder and the accountant of the hash funds. This person is accountable and dangerous. Someone needs to brag about the start of each hash begging for the monies. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (just like in an adult education film) and who comes to trail. These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent and the whimpering of those who forgot their fees. They also check PayPal. It is a thankless job sometimes. But, through the sounds of cash registers the job gets done!

Sybian

Sybian

Haberdasher/ Art Bitch

This hasher is responsible for procuring, promoting, and selling hash gadgets, gizmos, accessories, sex toys, and items of hash apparel to the hash. Containers of undersized clothing and useless paraphernalia fill their car at every trail hoping an out-of-towner with money will show up and buy something. Haberdasher pimping their wares helps fund annual events...we also make money this way!

Kink Stink & Ink

Kink Stink & Ink

On-Sec

This position is a writer's wet dream. The On-Sec struggles with piles of hastily-scribbled check-in sheets, incomplete data from years of inebriated record keeping, and a never-ending lineup of wankers ready to argue about their trail counts. They may attempt to occasionally remind the RA's when wankers reach certain milestones or analversaries with the hash. They also are support the kennel by telling what happens in MM meetings...it is an odd position!

California Pussy Reject

California Pussy Reject

Hash Flashes

The people who capture for posterity all embarrassing hash moments in pictures. The hash flashes must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, take pictures, and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

Sex Ray Tech

Sex Ray Tech

TBD

TBD

Hash Scribe

The Hash Scribe immortalizes the events of each hash into story, taking careful note of anything dumb or embarrassing their fellow hashers have done on trail... or just makes something up, and then posts the resulting Hash Trash for all to read. If you weren't there you'll never know how much is true.

Songmeister

This is a hasher who never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. Her songs are risqué, lewd, and supremely vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to thy sacred hash hymnals. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations, to boldly go where no Songmeister has dared to go before...this likely a rip from Star Trek and it is fine!

Farm to Mouth

Farm to Mouth

Webmeister

This wanker is responsible for keeping the interwebs up-to-date with our current and upcoming events. If hash happens, and the info wasn't available at your fingertips, this is the person to be flogged and ostracized for lacking muster.

Need to Bleed

Need to Bleed

Ambassawhores

These wankers love to travel, and they spread lewd songs, debaucherous tales, news of up-cumming events, and/or hab from our hash to others, and bring back stories from their travels to tempt others to road whore. They also sneeze hash goodness for which there is no cure, but more hashing!

Always spreading Jax love and cheer, especially to our surrounding kennels. She loves to cum!

Motoryachting GGB

Motoryachting GGB

Useful Wankers

Mostly former Mismanagement, these wankers provide useful skills to the kennel when needed, but have no real responsibility.

Chipmunk Sex Ray Tech

Chipmunk Sex Ray Tech

Hash Trash TBD → to be picked weekly by GM/RA

Hash Trash TBD → to be picked weekly by GM/RA

Past MM


2020

GM

  • Stretch Ass Strong

RA

  • THE Nappy Headed Homo

Hare Raiser

  • Sparky Sole Patch

Hash Cash

  • California Pussy Reject

On-Sec

  • California Pussy Reject

Haberdasher

  • Pipe Down in the Library

Beer Meister

  • Mother Knows Best

Hash Flash

  • Farm to Mouth

Ambassawhores

  • Motoryachting GGB
  • Porks Me Gentily
  • Confused Follies

Art Bitch

  • Kink, Stink, & Ink

Webmeister

  • Stretch Ass Strong

2019

GM

  • Choice of a New Penetration

RA

  • Stretch AssStrong

Hare Raiser

  • THE Nappy Headed Homo

Hash Cash

  • California Pussy Reject

On-Sec

  • Dewey Dick Em All

Haberdasher

  • Dewey Dick 'Em All

Beer Meister

  • Redwing Hoover

Hash Flash

  • Dewey Dick Em All

Songmeister

  • Sparky SolePatch

Hash Scribe

  • Dewey Dick Em All

Ambassawhores

  • Motoryachting GGB
  • Porks Me Gentily
  • Confused Follies

Art Bitch

  • Otter Fuck Your Cousin

Webmistress

  • Hog Riding Bambi Punisher

2018

GM

  • Three's Company

RA

  • Hashtray

Hare Raiser

  • Scurvy Seadog

Hash Cash

  • Spitz in Scheetz

On-Sec

  • Dewey Dick Em All

Haberdasher

  • Spitz in Scheetz

Beer Meister

  • Sparky Sole Patch

Hash Flash

  • Dewey Dick Em All

Songmeistress

  • Synchronized Titties

Hash Scribe

  • Dewey Dick Em All

Ambassawhores

  • Hashtray (Pan-Asian)
  • Moneyshot (Central US)

Art Dispenser

  • Swamp Gravy

Webmeister

  • Gin Comes Out Yellow
  • Hog Riding Bambi Punisher

2017

GM

  • Scout's Anal
  • Sparky Sole Patch

RA

  • Three's Company
  • Inflate-a-Date

Hare Raiser

  • Scurvy Seadog

Hash Cash

  • 7-10 Split
  • All the Meat You Can Eat

On-Sec

  • Pump Me Up Scottie

Haberdasher

  • Spitz in Scheetz

Beer Meister

  • Scout's Anal
  • Three's Company (Stunt BM)
  • Spitz in Scheetz (Stunt BM)

Chip Monk

  • Pump Me Up Scottie

Hash Flashes

  • Motoryachting GGB
  • Confused Follies

Songmeistress

  • Synchronized Titties

Hash Scribe

  • Pump Me Up Scottie

Ambassawhores

  • Hashtray (Pan-Asian)
  • Moneyshot (Central US)

Art Dispenser

  • Swamp Gravy

Webmeister

  • Gin Comes Out Yellow

2016

GM

  • Gin Comes Out Yellow
  • Tigger the Gay Stripper, Oh My!

RA

  • Gin Comes Out Yellow
  • Tigger the Gay Stripper, Oh My!

Hare Raiser

  • Sparky Sole Patch

Hash Cash/On-Sec

  • 7-10 Split
  • Sitting Butch, Squirting Bull (Stunt HC)
  • Gin Comes Out Yellow (Stunt HC)

Beer Meister

  • Sparky Sole Patch
  • Gin Comes Out Yellow

Haberdasher

  • Sitting Butch, Squirting Bull
  • Pack My Assphalt
  • Gin Comes Out Yellow

Hash Flash

  • Swamp Gravy

Songmeister/Songmeistress

  • Motoryachting GGB
  • Synchronized Titties

Webmeister

  • Gin Comes Out Yellow

“Everything”

  • Gin

2015

GM

  • Tigger the Gay Stripper, Oh My!

RA

  • Gin Comes Out Yellow
  • Rancid Anal Dipstick

Hare Raiser

  • Swamp Gravy

Hash Cash/On-Sec

  • Sitting Butch, Squirting Bull

Beer Meister

  • Sparky Sole Patch
  • Motoryachting GGB

Haberdasher

  • Selectively Swallows

Songmeister/Songmeistress

  • Fairy Beary Crunch

Webmeister

  • Gin Comes Out Yellow

2014

GM

  • Tigger the Gay Stripper, Oh My!

RA

  • Rancid Anal Dipstick

Hare Raiser

  • Sitting Butch, Squirting Bull

Hash Cash/On-Sec

  • Fairy Beary Crunch

Beer Meister

  • Sparky Sole Patch
  • Motoryachting GGB

Haberdasher

  • Selectively Swallows

Webmeister

  • Cotton Panel
  • Gin Comes Out Yellow

2013

GM

  • A.I.D.S.
  • Sitting Butch, Squirting Bull

RA

  • 2-Fisted Sock Fucker

Hare Raiser

  • All The Meat You Can Eat

Hash Cash/On-Sec

  • Honey Bunches of Pussy

Beer Meister

  • Sparky Sole Patch
  • Motoryachting GGB

Haberdasher

  • Swamp Gravy

Webmeister

  • Cotton Panel

2012

GM

RA

Hare Raiser

Hash Cash/On-Sec

Beer Meister

Haberdasher

Webmeister

  • Cotton Panel

2011

GM

RA

Hare Raiser

Hash Cash/On-Sec

Beer Meister

Haberdasher

Webmeister

  • Cotton Panel