Mismanagement

JaxH3 MM 2017

These are the poor hashers we convinced to wear the pants of responsibility this year.

Looking for previous years?


Beer Meister

This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing (properly chilled, of course) is available at each and every trail. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and plastic cups stashed in every possible place. This job requires a strong back and a weak mind.

Scout's Anal

Scout's Anal

Grand Mattress

The Chairman of the Bored. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert’s legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather he personifies the hash’s character (or lack thereof.) He leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, he gives inspiration, direction, and blurry vision to all. In real importance to the Hash, this position ranks only behind Hash Cash, RA, Haberdasher, Hare Raiser, and Beermeister.

Scout's Anal

Scout's Anal

Sparky Sole Patch

Sparky Sole Patch

Hash Cash

The holder of the purse-strings and keeper of hash accountability. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out") and who comes to trail. These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have over-spent and the whimpering of those who forgot their fees.

7-10 Split

7-10 Split

All The Meat You Can Eat

All The Meat You Can Eat

Hare Raiser

The Hare Raiser makes sure that there’s a hare(s) for each hash, and that the start location is known well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. It is also the responsibility of the Hare Raiser to ensure that hares are properly trained in the art of laying trail, and that standard marking conventions are observed, that virgin hares have veteran co-hares, and communicating the start location of the hash to the masses. If the Hare Raiser should fail to find a hare for the next hash the Hare Raiser gets stuck doing it himself. Poetic justice.

Scurvy Seadog

Scurvy Seadog

Religious Advisors

Keepers of the Faith. Enforcers of the Scriptures. Conductors of Circle. These are the hashers who have seen the light (Bud Light, Natty Light, Beast Light… ) and can taste in their soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisors spread the word, inspire the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants, and mismanage circle. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA's. They are the keepers of the sacred Laws of Hashing and come up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any situation. They also have the ability to summon the mythical Hash Attorney at whim.

Three's Company

Three's Company

Inflate-a-Date

Inflate-a-Date

On-Sec

This position is the masochist's dream. The On-Sec struggles with piles of hastily-scribbled check-in sheets, incomplete data from years of inebriated recordkeeping, and a never-ending lineup of wankers ready to argue about their trail counts. They may attempt to occasionally remind the RA's when wankers reach certain milestones or analversaries with the hash.

Pump Me Up Scottie

Pump Me Up Scottie

Haberdasher

This hasher is responsible for procuring, promoting, and selling hash gadgets, gizmos, accessories, sex toys, and items of hash apparel to the hash. Containers of undersized clothing and useless paraphernalia fill their car at every trail hoping an out-of-towner with money will show up and buy something. Haberdasher pimping their wares helps fund annual events.

Spitz in Scheetz

Spitz in Scheetz

Hash Flashes

The people who capture for posterity all embarrassing hash moments in pictures. The hash flashes must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, take pictures, and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

Motoryachting GGB

Motoryachting GGB

Confused Follies

Confused Follies

Chip Monk

The Chip Monk humbly provides food both orange and crunchy to needy and starving hashers. Known as the patron saint of frequent masticators, this wanker always has something to put in your mouth.

Pump Me Up Scottie

Pump Me Up Scottie

Songmeistress

This is a hasher who never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. Her songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeistress speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations, to boldly go where no Songmeistress has dared to go before!

Synchronized Titties

Synchronized Titties

Hash Scribe

The Hash Scribe immortalizes the events of each hash into story, taking careful note of anything dumb or embarrassing their fellow hashers have done on trail... or just makes something up, and then posts the resulting Hash Trash for all to read. If you weren't there you'll never know how much is true.

Acting Hash Scribe

Pump Me Up Scottie

Pump Me Up Scottie

Ambassawhores

These wankers love to travel, and they spread lewd songs, debaucherous tales, news of up-cumming events, and/or hab from our hash to others, and bring back stories from their travels to tempt others to road whore.

Pan-Asian

Hashtray

Hashtray

Central US

MoneyShot

MoneyShot

Useful Wankers

Mostly former Mismanagement, these wankers provide useful skills to the kennel when needed, but have no real responsibility.

Art Dispenser

Swamp Gravy

Swamp Gravy

Webmeister

Gin Comes Out Yellow

Gin Comes Out Yellow

Past MM


2016

GM

  • Gin Comes Out Yellow
  • Tigger the Gay Stripper, Oh My!

RA

  • Gin Comes Out Yellow
  • Tigger the Gay Stripper, Oh My!

Hare Raiser

  • Sparky Sole Patch

Hash Cash/On-Sec

  • 7-10 Split
  • Sitting Butch, Squirting Bull (Stunt HC)
  • Gin Comes Out Yellow (Stunt HC)

Beer Meister

  • Sparky Sole Patch
  • Gin Comes Out Yellow

Haberdasher

  • Sitting Butch, Squirting Bull
  • Pack My Assphalt
  • Gin Comes Out Yellow

Hash Flash

  • Swamp Gravy

Songmeister/Songmeistress

  • Motoryachting GGB
  • Synchronized Titties

Webmeister

  • Gin Comes Out Yellow

“Everything”

  • Gin

2015

GM

  • Tigger the Gay Stripper, Oh My!

RA

  • Gin Comes Out Yellow
  • Rancid Anal Dipstick

Hare Raiser

  • Swamp Gravy

Hash Cash/On-Sec

  • Sitting Butch, Squirting Bull

Beer Meister

  • Sparky Sole Patch
  • Motoryachting GGB

Haberdasher

  • Selectively Swallows

Songmeister/Songmeistress

  • Fairy Beary Crunch

Webmeister

  • Gin Comes Out Yellow

2014

GM

  • Tigger the Gay Stripper, Oh My!

RA

  • Rancid Anal Dipstick

Hare Raiser

  • Sitting Butch, Squirting Bull

Hash Cash/On-Sec

  • Fairy Beary Crunch

Beer Meister

  • Sparky Sole Patch
  • Motoryachting GGB

Haberdasher

  • Selectively Swallows

Webmeister

  • Cotton Panel
  • Gin Comes Out Yellow

2013

GM

  • A.I.D.S.
  • Sitting Butch, Squirting Bull

RA

  • 2-Fisted Sock Fucker

Hare Raiser

  • All The Meat You Can Eat

Hash Cash/On-Sec

  • Honey Bunches of Pussy

Beer Meister

  • Sparky Sole Patch
  • Motoryachting GGB

Haberdasher

  • Swamp Gravy

Webmeister

  • Cotton Panel

2012

GM

RA

Hare Raiser

Hash Cash/On-Sec

Beer Meister

Haberdasher

Webmeister

  • Cotton Panel

2011

GM

RA

Hare Raiser

Hash Cash/On-Sec

Beer Meister

Haberdasher

Webmeister

  • Cotton Panel