GM: The Chairman of the Bored. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert’s legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather he personifies the hash’s character (or lack thereof.) He leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, he gives inspiration, direction, and blurry vision to all. In real importance to the Hash, this position ranks only behind Hash Cash, RA, Haberdasher, Hare Raiser, and Beermeister.

RA: Keeper of the Faith. Enforcer of the Scriptures. Conductor of Circle. This is the hasher who has seen the light (Bud Light, Natty Light, Beast Light… ) and can taste in his soul the true spirit of Hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants and mismanages circle. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. He is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any situation and can summon the mythical Hash Attorney at whim.

BEERMEISTER: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing (properly chilled, of course) is available at each and every trail. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and plastic cups stashed in every possible place. This job requires a strong back and a weak mind.

HABERDASHER: This hasher is responsible for procuring, promoting, and selling hash gadgets, gizmos, accessories, sex toys, and items of hash apparel to the hash. Containers of undersized clothing and useless paraphernalia fill their car at every trail hoping an out-of-towner with money will show up and buy something. Haberdasher pimping their wares helps fund annual events.

HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings and keeper of records. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as "the old in and out") and who comes to trail. These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have over-spent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think they have an anniversary or reached a milestone in how many time they have come. To trail.

HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there’s a hare(s) for each hash, and that the start location is known well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes. It is also the responsibility of the Hare Raiser to ensure that hares are properly trained in the art of laying trail, and that standard marking conventions are observed, that virgin hares have veteran co-hares, and finds out the start location of the hash then gets that information to the masses. If the Hare Raiser should fail to find a hare for the next hash the Hare Raiser gets stuck doing it himself. Poetic justice.