Trail # 582
Hare(s): RedWing Hoover, Face Plant & Sphinter
Marine Corps Annual Birthday Hash
Start: Publix 1234 Merrill Rd. Corner of Merrill Rd & Townsend.
SO there I was in the parking lot of Publix on Merrill Rd & Townsend with the worldly known Face Plant Puke Princess..Some reason, still unknown by me (Aunt Jemima). I just the urg of showing up early this one particular hash..Apparently Face was stuck in the parking lot waiting and making sure that pack showed up to the correct starting location.Not to mention, RedWing was worried that someone might see him driving off in the direction of where he was dropping the beerstops...
Well Face and I were there talking about what might be on trail.. Face was decked out in his boot issue Camo's and I was in the typical hash clothing. Like a wise hasher (that I am) I asked Face some general question about trail...How long, shiggy and how much road there will be...Face, replying in the typical hare response, stated that I will just have to stay on trail to see...After several minutes of attempting to get a half assed answer, I just gave up...
In turn, he went to hs car and pulled out a knife and walked towards me..At the time, I thoughtI maybe in danger, but Face with a knife..Well I had no worries about being cut by him...Face just started talking about needing a knife on trail..I guess he forgot who he was talking too Aunt Jemima...Almost never stays on trail...I (Aunt Jemima) guess the best trail ever done can be always cut in half...
Soon the rest of the hash showed up... Right after that, chalk talk was done for the one virgin. Ginger Snatch and Fecal drove up from Daytona H3 for a road hash...
The hare(s) asked for a 15 minute head (who said head) start...The pack obligated due to the fact that RedWing and Face Plant are not the fastest hashers in the world..Look who's talking, neither am I (Aunt Jemima).
When the time expired, the pack started walking towards where the hares had dropped trail markings. Of course AUnt Jemima went his usual direction..Not following trail. Words ofwisdom from RedWing was given to Aunt Jemima before trail, but hi did not follow his words of wisdom...As usual...
Aunt Jemima went around the front of Publix while the rest of the pack followed trail behind Publix. Eventually cuming out on the other side of the strip business...AJ hit the first couple checks and blowing his air horn...Thinkin that the air horn would make the hares move a little faster...Of course no one really followed AJ and I blew thru the check..Some reason I hit all the checks and found trail...So the pack had to follow until I hit a wrong check...The pack hit the check and went the correct direction while AJ went on his own way..Eventually AJ caught up with the pack...The back of the pack was Inflate a Date, Ginger, Senior, Fecal and couple others. Trail wound up started out to be a pavement pounder, until the trail that wound up going down a ditch line.
Trail came up onto a hurdle, due to the fact that there was a 8 foot chain linked fence..But AJ found a way around..There was a 1 foot cynder block fence right next to it..The Cynder block fence had a large hole in it..While AJ and Inflate went thru the hole, the rest of the pack climbed over the link fence...The trail continued on along the ditch line(in the water)..
Some how the back of the pack caught up with the FRB's...WOW what a change..The FRB's were Bobber,HIV, Vagina and a couple others...The hashers that were in the back did not go into the water. Some reason they were following AJ on the bank of the ditch..Trail continued along in the ditch for about a half mile or so...Some how AJ found trail just by zenning it.
Trail wound up remaing in the ditch until (I) AJ decided to go off trail...LAst I heard and saw any on trail was Slick Willie climbing out of the ditch blowing his whistle and yelling ON-ON...For some reason, I (AJ) decided to skirt along the side of someone's property...The owner saw me and yelled at me asking "Hey What are you doing?" I replyied back that I was a part of a R*nning group and that we were just passing thru...The rest of the pack was actually still in the ditch blowing their whistles....The property owner just said, "Oh, just be careful." I just went on and followed my own trail..My trail went onto the paved roads.
As I went on, I continued onto some trail and did not hear anymore whistles...I just kept going on pounding the pavement not knowing where I was going..I just kept going...I eventually came out to a "T" intersection...Right went up hill and left went down hill and there was a dense patch of woods...Being a sorta smart hasher. I felt that going left towards the woods would do me the best...So that's the way I went...
As I approached the woods, I noticed, what looked like a ditch within the woods. I kept going and heard something or someone making noises in the ditch. As I kept getting closer, I yelled out "Are YOu!!"No answer...I yelled again "Are YOu!!" Still no answer..I got to the woods and peeled some of the branches back and what did I see??? RedWing looking back at me as he climbed out of the ditch with Face not too far behind him...RedWing yelled back at me saying that he heard me yelling "Are you!!" He just did not want to respond due to the fact that RedWing thought that I just might go away. That's not going to happen...I asked RedWing for an article of clothing saying that "I had caught the hare(s)". He just said no and threw a handful of flour onto my chest while he ran by...Face Plant kept on going and yelled out the time that they were SNARED...I just happened to have some chalk with me...I wrote on the gound the time and that I had caught the hare...Oh yea, where I caught the hares was an actual beerstop...So I did hang out and had a beer at the beerstop.
As I was leaving, I saw that HIV come out of the woods and he yelled at me "Not bad for a short cutter". Refering to what I had put on the ground...That I had snared the hare(s)...I just kept on going towards Townsend.. Eventually I wound up getting lost on trail...Attempting to go where I thought trail was going...I guess wrong..
I did turn around and came back out and headed back towards that beerstop..I did catch back up with the back of the pack...The Back of the pack was Inflate, Strip My Wood, the Virgin, Boner Malfunction, Senior, Fecal, Ginger Snatch and a couple others. I attempted to try and r*n up hill on Ft Caroline Rd West bound...Not much I could do to catch up with the front of the pack...I noticed that at each intersection, that an arrow was put down to mark the direction of trail..It was either put down by Bobber or Humus...So I knew to trust the arrow...The DFL's and the rest of the pack stayed together and talked..
Trail wound up going thru several neighborhoods...There were several boob checks along the way. The Jacksonville Harrierettes and visiting Harrierettes were kind enough to show them.. Then trail found another ditch line to go onto which was not very surprising...Which there was a beerstop...Then trail continued on..For some reason there was no beer at the beerstop. Not sure why but nothing was there...The person writing this believes that there was not enough beer set out..but that is just an obervation.
Trail kept going along the ditch line until Strip found a lone bicycle sitting next to a fence..From the looks of the bicycle, well it was in ok condition so Strip hopped on it and starting riding it past other hashers...Which were not many...since we were in the back of the pack...Fecal, the virgin, Senior, Inflate, Ginger, Malfunction and couple others that I can not think of right now.. but soon after Strip started riding the bike, a local kid saw Strip riding off on the bike and started yelling that was his bicycle...But Strip kept on riding...Eventually Strip bought the bike back and appologized..The rest of the pack kept going along the ditch until a rather large drainage access in which we noticed 2 different colored
ropes tied to a drainage grate...RedWing did explain that there would be a Turkey/ Eagle split...Just did not say where it would be...Seeing the different colored ropes, We knew we had found the Turkey/Eagle..The only thing is that RedWing did not mention that we needed a flashlight...and no one was carrying a flashlight...Fecal eventually went down the rope that the hares had tied off..I am guessing that it did not go too far because we could hear Fecal in the tunnel...Most of the pack continued on in the ditch line until it was back onto original trail that was close to the 6 foot chain linked fence and the the 8 foot concrete fence that had the hole in it...Along the way, the pack passed by a boy/girl sitting in the ditch drinking some cheap vodka..They were nice enough to mention that they had seen the rest of the pack go passed them and pointed in the correct direction.
Trail came out of the ditch line and continued along old trail and eventually headed towards Townsend Blvd...In which, trail went back towards the start. Which is the Publix on the corner of Townsend Blvd and Merrill Rd. RedWing did his duty of going back and played sweepers by going back and picking up the stragglers..There were several...
Once the pack made it back to the start, some got changed while others said their good-byes. Instead of doing circle in the parking lot of Publix, RedWing had set up a location else where to hold circle..Cecil's on Arlington Rd between Cesery Blvd and University Blvd...Once there, circle soon occured and there was a lot of beer consumed and the trail trials were held.. The Hash-it was and is still held by Just Jen...Mainly due to the fact that Just Jen did not show up for trail...
For someone that caught the hare(s) at the first beer stop, I (Aunt Jemima) did ok, but the short-cutting got the best of me and at least I did not have to jump into the truck that RedWing offered for picking up the stragglers...
Scribbed by: Aunt Jemima
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